Facebook Post – June 29, 2017

On this last day of my 43rd year of life, I wanted to share some reflections with you. I thought by this age I would know a lot more about the things I don’t and a lot less about the things I do. I have been through the human condition trifecta of experiences that cripple many of the general population: bankruptcy, divorce, and a close family member with cancer. I also battled, and when I say battled I mean it, alcoholism. My scars, grey hairs, and wrinkles all attest to my hardened seasoning. Now all I want to do is be kind. This is the most difficult challenge I have encountered to date because of the current social environment. Highly sensitive people like me are not regarded as strong; in fact, many of us have been used up already, our emotional talents taken for granted and behaviors condemned. Taking the time to actually listen to another person before concocting a response is an artform and I excel at it. I have the empathetic skills necessary to imagine what it could feel like to be another person because I have been through so much myself. I can back up my authenticity and if allowed, and make a real connection with another. I respect vulnerability because I know the pain caused when it isn’t valued. I want to give because my personal results have shown that it attracts positive energy in my life. The more I give, the more I love myself and when I love myself, it is much easier to calm the emotional seas. Also, if I don’t take care of myself, I cannot take care of anyone else. There is something coming, I firmly believe this. I know it sounds like one of those doomsdayer folks standing on the city street corner with a homemade prophetic sign, but I had to dig down to depths never seen before to become a happier person. I have found a purpose and it is to be kind in a world that continues to become meaner. People pile on each other’s flaws, attack each other’s politics, use protest signs as weapons, all the while walking past the mirror on their way out the door. The pendulum is going to swing back and swing back hard. We know this isn’t the right way, don’t we? We are all hurting because something just isn’t right. I haven’t quite figured out how to be classy, forthright, compassionate, and forgiving all at once, but this is my new goal for the 44th year of my life. I believe being kind is going to save us all. Kindness brought my chosen family back together, so on paper I am divorced but in reality I’m committed to my husband. We worked it out from the foundation up, thanks to sobriety. We stopped the vitriol, quit spewing venom, and rewrote our own book on communication. Our kids rock and will continue to rock guaranteed. As parents we fully understand the value of building strong children instead of broken men and we have made so many mistakes along the way. I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies these days, treasuring what truly matters: Love, understanding, and acceptance. Many people have faded in and out of my life and I thank you all for the lessons I learned. Some of them really sucked, though. For my birthday wish, I would like to ask you all just to enjoy something beautiful. Really enjoy it. Then go from there…  

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